Why in the HELK can't guys assess their feelings?
I know they have them. I KNOW they do.
They have feelings for sports, drink, sex, hobbies. Sometimes you can't shut them up with their enthusiasm on how much they LOVE that one particular thing or another.
But when it comes down to discussing something like let's say whom they are IN LOVE with, why they are in love with them, you know, where they need to be compassionate and sensitive… they tend to shut down to empty shell mode.
For example: (you knew that was coming huh?)
One of our first REALLY big up-all-night fights started with one question.
Sexy wife and mother of his children (me in case you were confused) said as we were after-the-act cuddling (I figured out fast that that is one of the best times to approach things…): "Hey Baby, why me? Why did you choose me out of all the fish in the sea? Why me?"
My Mr. Insensitive: ……… (silent deep breath which usually means he's falling asleep or faking it!!!)
Sexy wife and mother of his children : "STOP that! You are not asleep!"
My Mr. Insensitive: "I AM really tired though."
Sexy wife and mother of his children: "Answer my question. Seriously. Why me?" (I'll admit… I wanted, at that time, for him to spill out how much he loved me and couldn't live without me, and he smiles 20 random times during the day because he can't help think about something witty I said… but still)
My Mr. Insensitive: "ummm… I don't know? I just DID pick you…" and with a quirky smile he dives in for a kiss then pulls back and says, "Lucky you huh!"
Sexy wife and mother of his children: "YOU DON'T KNOW? How do you NOT know? What… what? I was convenient?"
My Mr. Insensitive: "I was ready to settle down…"
Sexy wife and mother of his children: "Are you SERIOUS right now? Completely serious? It's a simple question. I could probably write a novel of why I picked you! And you can't come up with ONE thing to tell me… ONE that's all you needed!"
It gets fuzzy after that… my allergies (that I don't have) began to kick in and my brain functions NOT-at-ALL when my eyes are leaking… it turns to mush and everything gets all tangled up!
I just don't get it though. Why is it SO hard to talk about how you feel when it is dealing with someone you are in a relationship with? It should be easy… and it's a lot easier on the relationship as a WHOLE… believe me! No guessing, no confusion, no miscommunication!
I know it's not ALL men… I know also that it is hard for some WOMEN. (so don't harp on me about exceptions to the rule)
But on average… with the typical male… this is the case. I'm just wondering why?
Why is it easy to talk about your favorite sports team (or enter whatever passion they have) and your love for them or why you CHOSE them?
Huh? Huh? Tell me… why?
My conclusion… he's was a scaredy cat!!! It's was hard for him to admit at the time that without me in his life it would be utterly and completely meaningless…
Nine years later… and upteen simple questions just like that… and let's just say-- I still love him regardless! Hehe! That's not to say sometimes he DOES surprise me though…